By the way, thanks for your comments. I have not quite figured out how to respond to them directly. My brain capacity is limited these days. Please know that I appreciate them and it feels good to know people are checking in.

any day now

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday. Ours was spent eating and preparing for the arrival of the Bean. My mom visited and helped Wonderful Husband paint furniture and the Bean’s room. Everything looks very cute – lots of yellow and green.

It is a little weird having a crib in our house. As I was walking into the bathroom this morning I caught a glimpse of the crib and I didn’t think I was in my own home for a moment. I thought who is that for? Where am I? Kid you not, I then got a swift kick in the ribs – I think the Bean was reading my mind and making her presence known. It worked wonders and I was jolted back to reality. I am nine months pregnant and having a baby soon.

I remember many months ago we decided we would wait until thanksgiving to put the Bean’s room together. It always seemed so far away. I can’t believe it has come and gone and now there is a nursery in my house. I received an email over the weekend that a woman in my yoga class had her baby on Saturday. She was due two days before me.

I guess it can really happen any day now.

God is most certainly a man.

At childbirth class last night, Wonderful Husband strapped on an empathy belly and wore it for 30 minutes. The teacher made the guys bend down and pick something up, lie down for five minutes and try to move and get up, sit in the worlds most uncomfortable chairs for 10 minutes, stand for an extended period of time, and hold their bladders until they were done with their allotted “belly” time. He summed up his experience when he said, “That sucks. How can you stand it?” Hmm, a whole 30 minutes and you think it sucks - try 40 weeks.

We also watched another birthing movie. I am not sure what is worse, carrying around a baby for 10 months or having to push it out of my body. The wonders of being a woman.

Spread the love...

I decided it wasn’t fair to only highlight my mother in law’s ridiculous comments. I will spread the love and give you a few from my father in law.

“We are going to go on vacation at Christmas this year so make sure that baby comes on her due date .” - I am due 12/23 and as we all know due dates are oh so accurate.

After negative reaction regarding their absence during the time their only son is expecting his first child, Father in law says, “It is not like we can help at all. Why do we need to be around?” – First of all, why wouldn’t you want to be around? Don’t even get me started on the three page list of things we will need help with during the early weeks.

“Why do you want paternity leave? Babies don’t do anything but sleep. SC won’t need any help.” - this comment speaks for itself.

While MIL says some ridiculous shit, FIL really takes the cake. So much so, I usually completely tune him out so I don’t lose it and physically attack him. I may listen up more often just so I can share his pearls of wisdoms here.

Mother in Law's are awesome!

We had lunch with my in-laws this weekend. Here a just a few gems that came from my mother in laws mouth.

“You don’t really need a stroller. Can’t you just always use the bjorn?” - Hmm, picture this... me with a baby strapped to my chest, a diaper bag, a dog and a bag of library books. Let’s hope the dog doesn’t see a squirrel or poop. And boy does the prospect of strapping a 20 pound baby to my chest anytime I want to leave my home sound fabulous. Great idea!!!

“Those monitors are a complete waste of money. When she really needs your attention, she’ll let out a big scream.” –I guess that means I can never go outside or downstairs if she is in her room. I can’t even hear the phone ring if the heater is running and the dishwasher is on. According to my ever wise MIL, eventually she will scream loud enough if she is in enough pain. (nice thought)

“Just throw the diapers in the trash. Those diaper contraptions don’t work at all.” – okay, we have a dog. I know some people question if the diaper genie minimizes smells but I really don’t ever want to find a half eaten dirty diaper strewn across my living room. Plus, how the hell would you know??? You haven’t had a child in 30 years and you had both a day and night nanny then.

“Okay, if you really think you need a stroller, why not just get a carriage or pram. They are so much cuter.” – Yep, and they are SOOO useful … for about three months. Clearly, since you are worried about the money we are spending, we should take your advice. Investing in a frou-frou pram that we will get five to six months max of use out of and not the stroller that we can use into the toddler years is very logical and economical. Thanks for the tip.

When we left all Wonderful Husband could say was “I don’t know what that woman did to my mother.” Can’t wait to hear her parenting advice….

Tis the Season...

Today I hit the 34 week mark; I supposedly have six more weeks left until the baby arrives.

This morning the Today Show unveiled the Rockefeller Tree and Al Roker wished someone a Merry Christmas. No, no, no… it can’t be that close yet. It just can’t be. The curse of a Christmas (or holiday) baby is that the date is counted down for you by every kid, shopping mall, silly news show and calendar. The date is constantly thrown in your face and you can only think of how quickly it (and your baby) is approaching.

Someone, please press the pause button.

Learn

This post is a little late, my first class was last Wednesday and I thought this went up last week...

Last night we attended our first Childbirth Preparation class. I completely freaked out as we walked up to the building. This whole “giving birth” thing is getting closer and is starting to scare the shit out of me. I tried to run away but my huge tummy wouldn’t let me. Wonderful Husband stared at me and tried not to laugh.

The class is fairly balanced and is made up of an interesting group of people. It is nice to be around other pregnant women. Oddly, there are eight couples and all but one couple is expecting a girl. When we have our six month reunion it will be a sea of pink.

We spent the last thirty minutes of class practicing relaxation techniques. The husbands participated to better understand how relaxed moms need to be when in labor. I think most of them fell asleep while we “moms” fidgeted. It is hard to get comfortable when you are eight months pregnant and laying on a skinny mat in the basement of a hospital.

By the way, no need to show me a picture of a placenta. It is gross and I don’t want to think about it coming out of my body. Thankfully they no longer let teachers bring real ones to class. The sight of a real placenta would help me garner enough energy to sprint out of class and not stop until I got home. (Our house is only 7 blocks away) Yuck!

The things husbands say…

Wonderful Husband and I were talking this morning as I freaked out about becoming a parent. As I was crying and relaying my fears, he said, “I feel totally prepared for the baby.”

Interesting. Wonderful Husband has never changed a diaper, given a baby a bath or really spent any time around a newborn. Let’s not even get into the logistics that aren’t ready – no crib, the guest room is still a guest room, nothing is washed, we own no diapers, etc… All with seven weeks to go.

Good to know he feels “totally prepared.”

I think I am going to secretly film him during one of his “totally prepared” moments after the baby arrives. Pay back is a bitch.

The Big Day!

Finally, the big day is here. I am so relieved that it is Election Day and I am amazed we have a barn burner on our hands. A year ago, I would have predicted that Bush would be polling 10 point up right now.

Vote!!!!! even if your state is swaying in a direction you don’t agree with. Though the Presidential race is important there are a ton of other offices, and possibly issues, you should voice your opinion on. It really does matter.

I have to say that I find this even split across the country reassuring. It is nice to know that no matter where you stand, about half the country agrees. I tend to feel my views are very isolated to my network of friends and the ‘liberal’ town I live in. That simply isn’t true. It also isn’t true that the more conservative town down the highway or my conservative family members are rare – they too are joined by half the country. We all count and that is a nice feeling.

My uncharacteristically hopeful prediction is Kerry slight wins the popular vote and the Electoral College splits 274 to 264 in Kerry’s favor. We’ll see…

In baby news….

I have reached that “Boy, you are REALLY pregnant stage.” The Bean is growing and so am I.

We have a shower this weekend and some of our out of town friends are coming to visit. It will be me, Wonderful Husband, Arizona friend, Missouri friend, Missouri friend’s boyfriend, two crazy cats and cute dog in a house with two bedrooms, one bathroom and a whopping 950 square feet. Fun stuff.